1. Real teachers will eat anything left in the teacher’s lounge.
2. Real teachers grade papers in the car, during commercials, in faculty meetings.
3. Real teachers never sit down without first checking the seat.
4. Real teachers have disjointed necks from writing on boards without turning around.
5. Real teachers understand the importance of making sure every kid gets a Valentine.
6. Real teachers can ‘sense’ gum.
7. Real teachers know the difference between what ought to be graded, what should be graded, and what should never see the light of day.
8. Real teachers know that the 1st class disruption they see is probably the 2nd one that occurred.
9. Real teachers have never heard an original excuse.
10. Real teachers give themselves away in public because of the dry erase pen marker smudges all over their hands.
11. Real teachers know that dogs are carnivores and not ‘homework paperavores’.
12. Real teachers do not take ‘no’ for an answer unless it is written in a complete sentence.
13. Real teachers are solely responsible for the destruction of the rain forest.
14. Real teachers know the value of a good education and are appalled upon seeing their paychecks.
15. Real teachers hear the heartbeats of crisis; always have time to listen; know they teach students, not subjects; and they are absolutely nonexpendable.